Manifest pentru liberalizarea cugetarii

While I was reading some of my old writings, I have found this one that I like very, very much (in more than one way). I now remember that I was very proud of myself, not only after writing this essay, but also after finding the title and the motto.

No alterations were brought to the original text.

Avertisment: aceasta bucata de scris este adresata numai oamenilor cu discernamant propriu

Motto:
Inchide trufia si prostia; deschide bine ochii si urechile. Uite-o! Ea e! Viata... in toata splendoarea ei.

"Cogito ergo sum" si totusi nu este de ajuns sa gandesti pentru a reusi sa te simti in viata. Dupa ce ai gandit si te-ai razgandit de o suta de ori ajungi la concluzia, banala de altfel, ca trebuie sa mai faci ceva pentru a putea spune ca existi. De cele mai multe ori acel ceva se cheama "a actiona". Asa a putut orbul sa treaca strada: a incetat sa se gandeasca la soarta vietii lui si la posibilul sfarsit iminent si a inceput sa mearga. Asa s-a descoperit America: un om a incetat sa se gandeasca la posibilitatea terminarii bruste a lumii dincolo de linia orizontului si s-a dus sa vada ce este acolo. Asa s-a realizat progresul: omenirea a incetat sa mai faca planuri in gol si a inceput sa-si urmeze ideile cu fapte.

Dar ce se intampla atunci cand nu gandesti? In acel moment, fie ca mergi, fie ca stai, nu ai cum sa existi. Pentru ca daca mergi fara ca ratiunea sa te ghideze, atunci nu poti fi mai mult decat o oaie care-si lasa firul de iarba neterminat si merge, in pas cu turma, spre nimic altceva decat un alt fir de iarba, probabil lasat neterminat de maica-sa. Si atunci nu poti spune ca existi. In consecinta, stai; nu te misti si nu gandesti. Si atunci ce drept ai tu sa te uiti cu superioritate la pietrele care sunt langa tine de-o viata? Ce drept ai sa le judeci cand, de fapt, ele ar trebui sa rada in hohote de tine pentru ca tu vei fi acela care vei muri fara sa traiesti... ele macar nu mor.

Si asa ajungi la concluzia ca TREBUIE sa gandesti pentru ca existenta ta sa aiba macar o sansa de a fi. Si gandesti... apoi incepi sa si actionezi... apoi realizezi cu stupoare ce bine te simti cu tine insuti... ce bine e sa fii om. Si iti traiesti viata asa cum ar trebui sa fie: fericita. La un moment dat faci un copil, sau mai multi. Si ii inveti tu, cum poti mai bine, ca trebuie sa fie, la randul lor, oameni si trebuie sa se poarte ca atare. Si totul e vesel si roz. Pana cand copiii tai dau nas in nas cu exteriorul. De obicei atunci cand acced in scoala. Si tu esti fericit ca ei invata sa fie oameni. Si ei sunt fericiti ca invata, caci un copil este un burete proaspat stors care de-abia asteapta sa se umfle cu tot felul de informatii. Si trec ani buni de fericire.

Totusi, intr-o zi, si aici sunt tentat sa spun ca este aproape inevitabil, stai la masa cu familia ta si observi ca brusc acei copii-oameni pe care ii stiai nu mai sunt asa. Dintr-o data ti se pare ca esti "mandrul parinte" al unei turme de oi. Si te-ntrebi: "De ce? Cand s-a-ntamplat lucrul acesta? Cum a fost posibil?" Astfel atingi punctul fantastic de bolnav si incredibil de molipsitor al realitatii: se pare ca sunt niste oameni, undeva in lumea asta, care-si doresc sa-ti educe copiii, si nu numai pe ai tai, atat de bine incat instinctul de turma devine o valoare. Se pare ca unii oameni privesc libera initiativa si cugetul slobod ca pe niste aprigi fiare ce vor devora lumea. Si incerci, pentru ca tu esti un om, care pe langa a gandi mai si actioneaza, incerci sa-i combati pe acei oameni cu tot cu mentalitatea lor si cu tot cu scara lor de valori care, de fapt, numai scara de valori nu e. Si ce observi? E PREA TARZIU!!! Copilul tau se departeaza usurel si in mod voit de tine si ramane oaie. Cum poti tu sa te simti atunci? Vinovat? Neputincios? Iremediabil trist? Distrus? Ratat?

Oricum te-ai simti, in nici un caz nu te apropii catusi de putin de fericire. Si atunci cum poti spune ca scopul vietii este fericirea, cand tocmai am demonstrat ca fericirea este un concept care, cel putin intr-o oarecare masura, este independent de tine. Si atunci care este scopul vietii? Mergand pe acelasi rationament as putea afirma ca scopul vietii este insasi existenta sa. In concluzie, scopul vietii omului sta in mainile sale. Si atunci ce ne impiedica sa ne luam viata in maini si sa-i atingem mult-prea-doritul scop suprem? Oare cugetarea infinita? Sa ne gandim...

I must admit that I find this piece of writing (and I find myself writing it) very sick - in the clinic-cynic-verysarcastic way.


Food for thought: How much are you able to hurt someone else (in a conscious mood) for your own good? How much are you able to do it unconsciously?

Can you smile in your last second?

I've always heard of stories that, in your last living moments your life passes before your eyes, or your kids, or your dreams that you will never get to live and so on. I find it all really nice... BUT what's the importance of you seeing your life, your unborn children, your unmet wife and so on when you know this is it... it's the last thing you'll ever think about?!

I know for a fact that smoking reduces your life expectancy. As a matter of fact so does fast-food, paranoia, depression and about a billion of other things. Are you going to think in your last seconds that you would have had eleven more minutes of life if you hadn't lit up your last cigarette???

I heard a lot of people (old ones) that are happy to have lived their lives to an extent that they can tell their grandchildren bed-stories at night. Stuff like: "Ohhh!... when I was almost your age..." Will that make them smile when they meet their fate?

I know for a fact that I have lived a lot of things that I wouldn't dare tell my grandkids about (if I ever get the chance, that is). One of them loiters still in my mind: I was chit-chatting with one of my very-dear friends the other day, telling him a story about me, when he said: "If I were you girlfriend I would kill you, but as I am your friend I will say nothing at all!" I found it really amusing at the time.

Last weekend, while I was back home, in Galati, I read some of my high-school writings that have passed through the years. One was an essay about the purpose of life, the ultimate happiness; and it started with a very nice quote from Baruch Spinoza: "We live our lives under the influence of hope and fear" HOPE and FEAR... that's it... nothing more. It made me think for the past days about that. I like this quote very much and I sense that it is similar with another of my personal favorites: "Life is all about smiles and cries... and how you control them"
Today I abandoned thinking, in a rather philosophical manner, about life - in general - and its goal, purpose, ultimate ending (whatever you want to call it) and started thinking, in a more pragmatic way, about my life. Will I have the guts, the courage, the inner strength (and so on) to smile when my time is due???

I now know the answer: NO. If my time is to be due right now, I will definitely NOT smile... But I found this exercise of thinking very useful for I know now that most of the things that I will set up to do from now on will only help me to get there: to smiling when they set me on fire. And why the fuck not?! I AM, however, smiling most of the time, right? I'm sure that everybody that knows me would state that, if they were to sum up, they saw me smiling for more seconds than not.

With this new boost of energy, I head for what is my destiny: to smile on my deathbed.


Food for thought: How is it possible for one man to worry about the happiness of a billion others, while a billion other men don't care/worry about THEIR OWN happiness?

Ode to AIESEC

This Sunday I helped the guys in AIESEC with the interviews. It was 8 o’clock in the evening and I was in the office evaluating together with everybody else when I realized that I could barely see before my eyes. It was indeed very, very tiring. I remember the spring recruitment: I had a day in which I did two group interviews and ten individual interviews, but was able to smile and have fun at the end of the day. I compared that feeling with the one I had on Sunday evening (when, though I could smile – and I did – I was so fucking beat after having ten individual interviews).

And some say that motivation doesn’t give you wings. HA!!! I know now for sure that, for me at least, it does provide wings. And not only that motivation provides you with wings, but you also use them. Because I realized that, while now I was doing my best to try and help some friends, back then I was doing my best to contribute to the success of our organization.

But, apart from being dead-tired, I enjoyed having an outsider’s look on how things are going in @. That exercise of observation made me write this “Ode to @”.

- It’s weird how easy we forget : the Vision of this recruitment is written on a flipchart and posted in the office. It says: “We have recruited high potential students that meet the development needs of AIESEC Bucharest and are motivated to go through a complete @XP”. In the next room you can hear words like “OK! We’ll take this one, give him something small to do and then send him in exchange in the summer”. I can remember that we were laughing at some other LCs in the country during the Recruitment Functional Meeting that they were planning to create what we called “small change agents” that being a person whose life in AIESEC would look like the one I just described earlier. Why do we keep forgetting so fast… especially things that are uncomfortable?

- Passion is everything: I saw people that were - maybe not as tired as I was - but still tired and that, after everything finished, knew that they still have to sort out the application forms, interview forms and so on (this being some boring, tiring work). And not only that they knew, but they wanted to do this and get it done. This, among others things I’ve seen, is passion and every time I saw this in the office I was invariably overjoyed. GREAT things are accomplished with passion.

- Arrogance is bliss: It came to me yesterday: it’s so fucking easy to be arrogant. To say that they are stupid, or that they are not doing the right thing, or that they are wasting time (your mother-fucking-precious time) and, with all that, to forget that YOU YOURSELF are one small, pitiful, low mother fucker. It’s easy to question whether everybody else is doing what they should while you loiter in your own, comfortable lameness. It’s easy to seem the God of them all and keep delegating tasks that you yourself do not know how to do. I acknowledge that I strongly RESENT this attitude.

- Living values, a reality: It’s nice to see that we were all far away from perfection, but still we strived for it. It was nice to see that people with so diverse backgrounds and personalities were able, not only to work together, but to have fun together. In a nutshell it was very nice to see that some people DO live the values that AIESEC has. And it was more enjoyable to see the fact that they did it unconsciously.

I’ve seen quite a lot in almost a year of AIESEC. I’m sure that I could have seen even more if I was to remain for another two or three years. But if there’s one thing I know foe sure, it’s that I will ALWAYS recommend AIESEC as the GREATEST experience that you can access during your student life. And I know that this is true and I won’t let anybody to try and tell me otherwise.

There’s a thought (that maybe will remain untold, at least for the time being) that SCREAMS: “Go ahead guys!!! Don’t stop!!! Go ahead and do what YOU know best! And never stop until this world will be a much better place for everybody!!!

Food for thought: Why is it sometimes so hard to convince others that what you are saying is true?