Obsolete

Written on March 19^th 2008

I always thought of myself as being obsolete in various contexts in which I found myself. I’m still not sure if this happens because of my out-of-date personality or just because I keep getting myself in all sorts of fucked up situations.

I’m currently in Belgium (again) for an AIESEC conference (Believe 2008, former BeLDS, the Belgian national leadership development seminar). I have applied as a facilitator (a while back) with the thought that if I’ve been a facilitator at ICPS in Romania (twice) – cultural preparation conference – without being myself on an Exchange, I might as well facilitate this leadership conference without having a formal leadership experience in AIESEC; so much for my fetish of doing random and (possibly) unwanted things in life.

Anyway I’m not going to tell you about my experience (a quite cool one so far) at Believe 2008, but rather I feel the need to contemplate the weird situation I’m currently in: it’s the final day of our pre-meeting and everybody’s preparing their sessions… and I’m writing this blog entry!

I AM obsolete actually. Because, although I connected really well with my team (and them with myself), we can’t discuss so many things, as AIESECers talk only about AIESEC and I am neither up-to-date with how things are going in the organization, nor really interested to expand my knowledge in different countries’ strategies.

I AM obsolete actually because nobody feels like rushing through their work so that they finish with some time to spare.

I AM obsolete actually because we AIESECers prefer not to ask for help or input because we are “developing” our own “babies” and we are very much attached to them.

I AM obsolete actually… because this is just how I am and I find it hard (even though it might be a smart, or at least safe thing to do) to want to change myself.

Well… this is just another drop in the glass; not the first, not the last.

Anyway (because I really feel like drawing a conclusion to what has been said) this is my last AIESEC conference for a while (maybe for a long while) because that’s the way it should be. AIESEC is fot the true AIESECers and I don’t fit into that profile anymore. I chose a different path and (maybe) I will turn out to be as successful (or at least close) as them.

And it is with this thought that I conclude!

Food for thought: what can you do when life hits you in the face with all its horrible sights?